Are your teens disrespectful to you sometimes?
If so, this article is for you. This article is all about how you can get your teens to respect you. First off, I’d like to highlight the difference between honor and respect. My wise mother once said to me:
“Honor is an attitude of the heart, but respect needs to be earned.”
In other words, your teens should honor you because you are their parent. but you need to earn their respect. so here’s the first tip if you want to earn your teens’ respect. Be a person of integrity.
Tip 1:
Your teens are always observing you. Do you sometimes lie for the sake of convenience? Or do you sometimes distort the truth for your benefit? If your teens see you consistently displaying traits like honesty, responsibility, kindness, and courage, they’ll respect you.
Being a person of integrity might involve admitting your mistakes and taking responsibility when you’ve done something wrong. It could mean standing up for what’s right, even in the face of challenges. By modeling integrity, you’re teaching your teens that values and principles are always more important than achieving specific outcomes or goals.
Tip 2:
Focus more on the relationship than the rules building a strong emotional connection with your teens goes a long way in garnering respect. This means that you not only discuss things like curfews, chores, and school.
It means that you also engage in conversations about your teens’ hobbies, dreams, and fears. Let’s say your teenage son is passionate about music. Take some time to listen to the music he likes and ask him about his favorite bands and singers.
This establishes common ground and shows him that you genuinely care about what matters to him. Remember that the essence of parenting teens is this: Parent your teens in such a way that they will want to ask for your advice.
Tip 3:
Tip number three Share your values and beliefs with your teens engage in meaningful conversations with your teens about the principles that are important to you but remember, this isn’t about imposing your views on your teens.
It’s about creating a safe space for dialogue and understanding. For instance, during family dinners, you could occasionally encourage open discussions about current affairs or ethical dilemmas. This not only encourages critical thinking but also lets your teens voice their opinions and feel heard.
Tip 4
Tip number four Don’t be overly critical of your teens. Teenagers are at a stage of self-discovery, and constant criticism will harm their development. No teen is perfect, and I’m sure that your teen’s flaws are glaring to you.
As a father of three children myself, I understand how easy it is to point out your children’s weaknesses and mistakes every time you observe them. But if you do this frequently, your teens will feel as if you’re always criticizing them. So instead, do your best to be supportive and encouraging.
For example,
if they’re struggling in math, ask them if there’s anything you can do to help. Instead of pointing out their mistakes, ask them what their plan is to learn more effectively going forward. Acknowledge their progress and effort, even if the improvements are small.
Tip 5:
Tip number five ask for your teens’ opinions. As we talked about earlier, teens want to feel heard and respected. So involve them in decisions that affect the family. For instance,
When planning a vacation, ask for their preferences. They might even be able to plan part of the vacation. This not only boosts their confidence but also demonstrates that their opinions matter.
Tip 6
Tip number six Don’t let your teens walk all over you. It’s important to give your teens freedom and autonomy, but they also need boundaries. Enforce rules fairly and consistently, showing that you’re both an authority figure and a caring parent.
For example,
If your teens break their curfew, follow through with the consequences that have already been agreed upon. I once talked to a teenager who had lost respect for his mother, because he realized that whenever she created rules and boundaries. she rarely followed through with them so make sure that you show kindness to your teens while also demonstrating that you mean what you say.
Tip 7
Tip number seven Be willing to change. It’s tricky being a parent of teens. You can’t let your teens walk all over you. But you also need to be willing to change your parenting approach when necessary. So don’t get stuck in your ways.
Set aside a few minutes each week to reflect on whether your current parenting approach is working. If you realize that you need to change the way you communicate with your teens guide them or encourage them, decide specifically what you’re going to do differently. It often helps if you tell your teens what you plan to do differently.
For example, if you notice that family dinners have become unpleasant affairs because you frequently nag your teens about their areas for improvement, you could say to your teens:
“I realize that I’ve been doing too much nagging during family dinners. I’m going to make family dinners a ‘no-nagging’ time from now on.”
Tip 8:
Tip number eight Keep your promises. When you follow through on your commitments, you build trust and respect with your teenagers.
For example, if you promise to buy your daughter a new bag, don’t change your mind after the promise has been made. When it comes to your promises to your teens, and for anything else that matters, keep this in mind: Don’t try to remember.
Instead, make it impossible to forget. So whenever you make a promise to your teens, write it down and keep track of it. Set a reminder on your phone if you need to. I didn’t use to do this with my children, so they would occasionally point out the fact that I had forgotten to keep some of my promises.
But now I always write down the promises I make to them, and set reminders if necessary. This way, I’ll be sure to keep my promises to my children.
So those are the eight tips for how to get your teens to respect you.